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Survivor campus/community resources
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, there are many places to choose from to go for medical help, advice, counseling, filing charges, and prevention programming. These are some of the resources available in the Binghamton community.

First Aid for the physiological effects of trauma
(taken from A Handbook for Providers (COMPSYCH)

Recovery aids for victims and family members
(Taken from Jacksonville Women’s Center: Rape Recovery Team)

Most women who have been raped do not react to the sexual aspects of the crime, but instead they react to the terror and fear that is involved. Women and men who have been assaulted undergo a variety of emotional reactions following the trauma. Being assaulted or violated often leaves the victim with an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and fear. She or he may feel very alone, fearful, and in need of comfort and support. Remember:

Common reactions to assualt
(taken from Women’s Center of Jacksonville: Rape Recovery Team material)

An assault is a traumatic experience that produces emotional shock and causes many emotional problems. This handout describes some of the common reactions people have after a trauma. Because everyone responds differently to traumas, you may have some of these reactions more than others. Please read it carefully, and think about any changes in your feelings, thoughts and behaviors since the assault.
Remember, many changes after a trauma are common. In fact, 95% of rape victims have severe problems 2 weeks after the rape. About half of these women feel much better within 3 months after the rape, but the other half recover more slowly, and many do not recover enough without help. Becoming more aware of the changes you’ve undergone since your assault is the first step toward recovery. Some of the most common problems after a trauma are described below.
Fear and anxiety are common and natural responses to a dangerous situation. For many, they last long after the assault has ended. This happens when views of the world and a sense of safety have changed. You may become anxious when you remember your assault, but sometimes anxiety may come from out of the blue. Triggers or cues that can cause anxiety may include places, times of day, certain smells or noises, or any situation that reminds you of the assault. As you begin to pay more attention to the times you feel afraid, you can discover the triggers for your anxiety. In this way, you may learn that some of the “out-of-the-blue” anxiety is really triggered by things that remind you of your assault.
Reexperiencing the trauma is common among women who have been assaulted. For example, you may have unwanted thoughts of the assault, and find yourself unable to get rid of them. Some women have flashbacks, or very vivid images as if the assault is occurring again. Nightmares are also common. These symptoms occur because a traumatic experience is so shocking and so different from everyday experiences that you can’t fit it into what you know about the world. So, in order to understand what happened, your mind keeps bringing the memory back, as if to try to digest it and fit it in.
Increased arousal is also a common response to trauma. This includes feeling jumpy, jittery, or shaky, being easily startled; and having trouble concentrating or sleeping. Continuous arousal can lead to impatience and irritability, especially if you’re not getting enough sleep. The arousal reactions are caused by the flight-or-fight responses kicking up in your body. The flight-or-fight response is the way we protect ourselves against danger, and it occurs also in animals. When we protect ourselves from danger by fighting or running away, we need a lot more energy than usual, so our bodies pump out extra adrenaline to help us get the extra energy we need to survive.
People who have been assaulted often see the world as filled with danger, so their bodies are on constant alert, always ready to respond immediately to any attack. The problem is that increased arousal is useful in truly dangerous situations, such as if we find ourselves facing a tiger. But alertness becomes very uncomfortable when it continues for a long time even in safe situations. Another reaction to danger is to freeze, like a deer in headlights, and this reaction can also occur during an assault.
Avoidance is a common way of managing trauma related pain. The most common type is avoiding situations that remind you of the assault, such as the place where it happened. Often situations that are less directly related to the trauma are also avoided, such as going out in the evening if you were assaulted at night. Another way to reduce discomfort is trying to push away painful thoughts and feelings. This can lead to feelings of numbness, which make it difficult for you to have either fearful or pleasant and loving feelings. Sometimes the painful thoughts or feelings may be so intense that your mind just blocks them out altogether, and you may not remember parts of the assault.
Many people who have been assaulted feel angry not only at the assailant but also with others. If you are not used to feeling angry, this may seem scary. It may be especially confusing to feel angry at those who are closest to you. Sometimes people feel angry because of feeling irritable so often. Anger can also arise from a feeling that the world is not fair.
Trauma often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. Many people blame themselves for things they did or didn’t do to survive. For example, some women believe that they should have fought off an assailant, and blame themselves for the assault. Others feel that if they had not fought back, they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. You may feel ashamed because during the assault you were forced to do something that you would not otherwise have done. Sometimes, too, other people may blame you for being assaulted. Feeling guilty about the assault means that you are taking responsibility for what your assailant did. Although this may make you feel somewhat more in control, it can also lead to feelings of helplessness and depression.
Depression is also a common reaction to assault. It can include feeling down, sad, hopeless or despairing. You may cry more often. You may lose interest in people and activities you used to enjoy. You may also feel that plans you had for the future don’t seem to matter any more, or that life isn’t worth living. These feelings can lead to thoughts of wishing you were dead, or doing something to hurt or kill yourself. Because the assault has changed so much of how you see the world and yourself, it makes sense to feel sad and to grieve for what you lost because of the assault.
Self-image often becomes more negative after an assault. You may tell yourself, “If I hadn’t been so weak or stupid, this wouldn’t have happened to me.” Many women see themselves more negatively overall after the assault (“I am a bad person and deserved this”).
It is also very common to see others and the world more negatively, and to feel that you can’t trust anyone. If you used to think about the world as a safe place, the assault suddenly makes you think that the world is dangerous. If you had previous bad experiences, the assault convinces you that the world id dangerous and others aren’t to be trusted. These negative thoughts often make women feel they have been changed completely by the assault. Relationships with others, even the ones you love most can become tense, and it is difficult to become intimate with people as your trust decreases. In fact, you may find that the people closest to you are not supportive of you, or have difficulty hearing about your assault.
Sexual relationships may also suffer after a traumatic experience. Many women find it difficult to feel sexual or have sexual relationships. This is especially true for women who have been sexually assaulted, since in addition to the lack of trust, sex itself is a reminder of the assault.

Many of the reactions to trauma are connected to one another. For example, a flashback may make you feel out of control, and will therefore produce fear and arousal. Many women think that their common reactions to the trauma mean that they are “going crazy” or “losing it.”

These thoughts can make them even more fearful. Again, as you become aware of the changes you have gone through since the assault, and as you process these experiences during treatment, the symptoms should become less distressing.

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Dealing with a traumatic event: Stages of Coping
Taken from A Handbook for Providers(COMPSYCH)

People will go through predictable stages when dealing with grief and loss. The following is an outline of these stages:

FIRST STAGE: DENIAL & ISOLATION
This is the initial shock reaction so common when people experience a traumatic event. They often think, “No, it’s not true.” Disbelief is a common reaction. These initial responses are a temporary defense and will be replaced by partial acceptance.

SECOND STAGE: ANGER
Once the shock of the event has subsided, people often think, “Why me?” “Why was I involved in this?” It’s common to react with anger, rage and resentment. This anger can also be displaced onto family members, friends and co-workers. People find they are more irritable in this stage.

THIRD STAGE: BARGAINING
This is an attempt to postpone grieving. Most bargains are made with a personal supreme being. People may hope to be rewarded for good behavior.

FOURTH STAGE: DEPRESSION
Anger and rage are replaced by a great sense of loss. Again, it is a normal reaction in the grieving process. It’s typical to feel sadness after a stressful and traumatic event.

FIFTH STAGE: ACCEPTANCE
This is when people finally face and accept what has happened. This usually happens after people have worked through the previous stages.

Sometimes the circumstances surrounding a traumatic event make the grieving process more difficult. For example, a sudden death may be the most traumatic. Also, it can be devastating to deal with the death of young person. Unnatural deaths, (through violence or murder) make the grieving process extremely painful. The survivors have feelings of guilt and helplessness. It’s common for them to ask, “Why couldn’t I have done something?” This is referred to as “survivor’s guilt.”

An important point through all these stages is to allow yourself time to process the situation and to talk through the various feelings you may experience. A person may be swept by a wide range of emotions in a very short time. It’s also true that not everyone experiences the grieving process in the order shown above.

Practical guide to feeling better
Taken from A Handbook for Providers(COMPSYCH)

FIND SOMEONE YOU TRUST
Talk with a family member or close friend about your experience. Don’t carry this burden alone; share it with someone who cares about you. Contact a friend and have someone stay with you for a few hours or a day.

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO FEEL WHAT YOU’RE FEELING
Express your feelings as they arise. Take time to cry if needed.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Get enough rest and eat regularly. If you are irritable or tense from lack of sleep or if you aren’t eating correctly, you’ll be less able to deal with a stressful situation.

MAKE AS MANY DAILY DECISION AS POSSIBLE
This will give you a feeling of control over your life. Know your limits. If the problem is beyond your control and cannot be changed, don’t fight the situation.

PRACTICE RELAXATION AND/OR MEDITATION
Create a quiet scene. You can’t always run away, but you can hold a vision in your mind – a quiet scene or walking along the beach can temporarily take you out of the turmoil of a stressful situation.

PLAY SOFT BACKGROUD MUSIC
At home and in your office or car, provide a soothing alternative to the hustle and bustle of the office, noisy telephones, or traffic.

MAINTAIN AS NORMAL A SCHEDULE AS POSSIBLE

TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME
For people under tension, an ordinary workload can sometimes seem unbearable. The load looks so great that it becomes painful to tackle any part of it. When this happens, remember that it’s a temporary condition and you can work your way out of it … one step at a time.

ALLOW TIME FOR A TASK
This will help reduce some of your self-imposed time pressure. If you normally plan half an hour to get a job done by rushing through it, schedule 45 minutes or an hour so you can do the job more deliberately and thoughtfully. This can only improve your quality of work. Give your best effort, but don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t achieve the impossible.

SPRUCE UP YOUR SURROUNDINGS
Keep a beautiful bouquet of flowers at home or in the office. Surround yourself with plants that you like. Make your environment one you enjoy.

ESCAPE FOR A WHILE
Whether it’s a brief trip, a change of scene, or losing yourself in a book or movie, this escape may give you the chance to put things in perspective. Then you will be more composed and able to deal with things when you return.

If these coping strategies don’t seem to be effective in reducing your stress reactions, you may want to seek professional counseling.

Post traumas do's and don'ts
Taken from A Handbook for Providers(COMPSYCH)

DON’T
Don’t drink alcohol excessively.
Don’t use drugs or alcohol to numb feelings.
Don’t withdraw from significant others.
Don’t reduce leisure activities.
Don’t stay away from work.
Don’t increase caffeine intake.
Don’t have unrealistic expectations for recovery.
Don’t look for easy answers.
Don’t take on new major projects.
Don’t pretend everything is okay.
Don’t make major changes if you don’t need to.

DO
Do get enough rest.
Do maintain a good diet and exercise program.
Do follow a familiar routine.
Do talk to supportive peers and family about the incident.
Do take on thing at a time.
Do attend meetings regarding this traumatic event.
Do spend time with family and friends.
Do create a serene place where you can escape, either in your imagination or in reality.
Do expect the experience to bother you.
Do seek professional help if your symptoms persist.

How to give support

For Friends | For Faculty

The person you love has been the victim of a violent, brutal attack that has temporarily stripped her of all personal power. She may be suffering terror and feelings of helplessness, which are perfectly normal responses to what she just went through. She needs time and support to work through her feelings.

Believe her experience without question.
Do not blame her. Whatever the circumstances, she was not looking or asking to get raped. Remember she has been through an extremely painful and punishing experience she wishes desperately had not happened. If she is suffering self-blame, thinking “If only I had done this or that differently, this wouldn’t have happened,” tell her that
1. The rapist is the only one who is to blame for the rape, and
2. She had no way of knowing what would have happened if she had done something differently.

She very well could have been physically hurt or killed.

Respect her fear.
Rapists may threaten to kill the victim if she does not do what he says. Most people we have spoken with did not know whether they were going to live through the experience or not – they were in fear for their lives. This fear does not go away when the rapist does. It is real. Help her deal with it by finding ways to make her feel safer.

Accept her strong feelings.
Being supportive does not mean that you have to do something necessarily. It is an attitude of acceptance of all of her feelings. It is providing a feeling of warmth and safety that she can rest in. It may be as easy as holding her without saying anything. Tolerate her moods; be there for her. Listen …

Listen without making judgments or giving advice.
Try to understand what she is going through. Do not criticize her actions or feelings. She did the very best she knew how in a deadly situation.
She survived! Give her credit.

Care about her well-being.
In order to care about your friend, you may need to deal with some difficult emotions of your own. If you are feeling rage, blame or loss of feelings yourself – you can be most helpful to her by findings ways of dealing with your own emotions. Honestly examine why you feel the way you feel – is it because of your friend’s pain or is it because of selfish reasons? Though anger is a normal, healthy response to a rape, showing extreme rage toward the rapist, threats or revenge and such, in her presence may just increase her fear. She needs you to be there for her, more than against the rapist. If you feel blame toward her, look at your own feeling of responsibility. Do you believe it is your duty to protect her at all times? If so, maybe her rape makes you feel like you failed. Remember no one can protect another person at all times without making that person a prisoner. Blame can also come out of the false belief that “Nice girls don’t get raped”. The false belief that women provoke rape comes from seeing rape as an act of sex. In fact, the rapist is motivated by a need for power and control and the desire to humiliate and degrade their victim. Rape is not primarily a sexual experience for the rapist or the victim. If you fear loss of feeling for her or have the feeling that she has been “damaged,” understand that these feelings may come from relating to her as your personal property. These are not appropriate feelings to have for a person and will further hurt your loved one and make her feel less human. If you are having a difficult time with your own feelings, it may help to talk with a counselor.

Take her seriously: Pay Attention.
This will help her to validate the seriousness of her feelings and her need to work them through. Rape is a shattering experience that a person does not get over quickly. It may be months or years before she feels fully recovered. Recovery is a process of acceptance and healing that takes time. One of the most important factors in the amount of time needed is the kind and extent of support she feels from people around her. Understand that the work she is doing with other people in the support group, on the telephone, or in individual counseling sessions, whether with a friend or a professional, is important to her healing process.

Encouragement.
Encourage her to not expect too much of herself, take it easy, and be good to herself as much as possible. This means you must not expect too much of her either. Life may seem a little dark to her for awhile. Whatever brings some simplicity and light into her life will help.

Stay with her
As long as she wants you to. One of the most upsetting losses experience by rape victims is the loss of independence and solitude. For awhile, many people feel scared to be alone. This will pass with time, meanwhile, be good company.

Let her make her own decisions.
Do not pressure her into making decisions or doing things she is not ready to do. Help her explore all her options. It is very important to respect her privacy and confidentiality. Who she wants to tell about the rape must be her decision, including whether or not to report to the police.

Offer physical comfort and warmth.
if she wants that, but never pressure her to have sex. Let her know your feelings have not changed and you will be there when she is ready. One of the after effects of the violence of rape is to make the person’s sexuality confusing. The act of sex can bring back the painful memory of the rape and, therefore, may be scary or too painful for a while. If she does not feel like being sexual right now, do not take it personally. Remember you can show your love for each other in ways other than sex for a while. GO TO TOP

For Friends

Friends play a key role in both preventing assaults from occurring as well as lending support to a victim of sexual assault or trauma. They are often the first people that a survivor might confide in. Here are a few things to keep in mind is support of your friend.

How To Help A Friend

Believe your friend. People rarely lie about rape, abuse, or harassment
Listen to your friend and concentrate on understanding his or her feelings.
Ask how you can help… and do it.
Offer to accompany your friend in seeking medical attention, counseling, or reporting to law enforcement.
Help the friend regain a sense of control by supporting her or him in making decisions about whom to tell and how to proceed.
Remind your friend that rape is the rapist’s fault, not the victim’s.
Offer shelter or companionship so that he or she doesn’t have to be alone.
Help your friend learn about, recognize, and seek treatment for signs of rape trauma syndrome.
Be available and supportive
Learn about and help your friend access resources in the community.Victims of assault may experience a range of emotional responses after an incident. There’s no “right way” to heal from trauma. Be there to listen, to care, and to help.

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For Faculty

WHAT EVERY FACULTY SHOULD KNOW

Rape Trauma Syndrome: What is it?
Since every person and situation is different, victims of sexual assault will respond to an assault in varying ways. Even when the actual assault is over, a survivor may suffer a variety of difficulties. Many victims appear to themselves and to others to have their feelings in control, only to become extremely upset again with in a short time. Some of these reactions may be short-lived; others can be troubling for months or years following the assault.

A survivor might experience any or all of the following reactions:

emotional shock
denial
nightmares
sleeplessness
intrusive memories or thoughts about the assault
inability to work or make decisions
impaired relationships
guilt
despair
depression
anxiety
self blame
anger and irritability
social withdrawal
impaired memory
psychological disorders
substance abuse
weight gain or loss, eating difficulties/disorders
emotional detachment, loss of caring
difficulty with concentration
hypervigilance (always being on your guard)
Heightened startle response
Panic attacks

How to Recognize a Student in Trouble
It is not unusual for a person to feel depressed, confused, or upset at various times throughout life. When these feelings persist, however, it is an indication that the person may be experiencing problems that are more distressing than typical frustrations. Below are three categories of student behavior, each of which suggests that a student might benefit from some kind of intervention.

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What to Look For:

Level One:
Poor academic performance, or a change from high to low grades
Excessive absences, especially if prior class attendance was good
Unusual or noticeable change in classroom interaction
Depressed or apathetic mood
Noticeable change in appearance and hygiene
Apparent alcohol consumption
Inability to remain awake in class
Excessively anxious when called upon
Unexplained crying
Avoiding participation

Level Two:
Repeated attempts to obtain deadline extensions, postpone tests, or special considerations.
Disruptive behavior in class.
Poor performance and preparation.
Excessive absences or tardiness.
Inappropriate or exaggerated emotional reactions in class.
Hyperactivity or rapid speech.

Level Three:

Violent or other extremely disruptive behavior (hostile threats, assault)
Obvious loss of contact with reality (seeing, hearing, feelings things not apparent to others).
Disturbed speech or communication content (incoherent speech, grandiose beliefs, disorganized or rambling thoughts)
Suicidal thoughts or self destructive actions
Homicidal threats

What Faculty Can Do:

Safety First: Always keep safety in mind as you interact with a distressed student. If you have any concern for the safety of your student or for yourself, call campus police immediately.
Journal Entries or Reports from other Students: In some cases, you will hear about the distressed student from someone else or through classroom assignments such as journal entries. If you feel you have good rapport with a student, invite them to talk to you or to consult with the Counseling Center at 777-2772.
Avoid Escalation / Be Sensitive and Supportive: Sexual assault victims have experienced a traumatic event that has caused them to experience an intense loss of power. Be careful of “pulling rank” on students. Create an environment of safety and let the student know it’s safe to talk to you and that you will listen without judgment. Carefully listen to the student and believe what they are telling you. The student survivor has chosen you as a trusted resource person. You are an important step in their healing process. Do not press for details and let she or he decide what steps they would like to take, if any. Let the student know that the assault was not her fault.
Do Not Assume You are Being Manipulated: While some students may appear distressed in order to get attention or relief from responsibility, the victim of sexual assault does not. She/he will often exhibit a wide range of emotional responses consistent with Rape Trauma Syndrome. Believe them. Listen to them. Refer them to appropriate resources for help.
Know Your Limits: Refer: As sympathetic and understanding as you may be, some students will need much more emotional support than you can provide. Referrals to professional counseling services are an important step for many students’ recovery.

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Helping a Survivor: Common Do’s and Don’ts

Do:

Believe the survivor. People rarely lie about rape or assault
Listen to the survivor and concentrate on understanding her or his feelings
Allow the survivor to be silent; you don’t have to talk every time he or she stops talking.
Let the survivor know that you understand their feelings. For example, you might say, “you must have been very frightened”
Ask how you can help
Offer to accompany the survivor in seeking medical, counseling, law enforcement, or judicial help
Remind the survivor that rape is the rapist’s fault, not the victim’s
Help the survivor learn about, recognize and seek treatment for signs of Rape Trauma Syndrome.

Don’ts

Ask questions that imply that the rape was the survivor’s fault, such as “Why did you go to his room? Why didn’t you scream? Why didn’t you run away?”
Ask “why” questions
Touch or hug the survivor unless you’re sure the survivor is comfortable with physical contact.
Act in ways that are upsetting to the survivor. Be wary of phrases like, “If I could find the creep, I’d kill him.” Although you may be trying to be supportive, that type of comment might upset the student even more.
Tell anyone about the assault without the survivor’s permission
Tell the survivor what to do; rather, help her or him explore the options. Among the complex decisions the survivor will have to make are whether to report the assault to the police and whether to take legal action. Rape crisis counselors and the judicial officials should be used as resources for these decisions.

How to Get Help